15 Important Lessons Of Forty Rules Of Love Book.

15 Important Lessons Of Forty Rules Of Love Book.

      “Forty Rules Of Love” is a highly spiritual novel which considered a feel-good book. It means that while reading, you can feel every thought, sentence, and scene of the novel intensely). The lessons of the forty rules of love do it best to change society-owned love’s narrow belief.

The Forty Rules of Love: A Novel of Rumi

There is an essence of love in this book. Not just about love, but also about a relationship with God. The lessons of the forty rules of love cover many boundaries and lead you to the rules and lessons preached by their characters.

     This novel has mesmerizing effects that give you life’s best lessons and make you realize what you lack in your life. Every chapter of this book begins with the letter “b” which refers to Bismilla hir Rehman nir Rahim. or (In the name of Allah the most beneficent and the most merciful) for putting the spirit in every phrase.

Who Wrote 40 Rules Of Love?

     The outstanding novel “40 Rules Of Love” is one of the masterpieces of Elif Shafak ( a British-Turkish award-winning novelist, feminist, and also a public speaker). Shafak is a broadly read female author in Turkey. She grew up in a nonpartisan environment that affects her firmly.

      Shafak is an activist for women’s rights, minorities, and subcultures. Although she also writes and speaks on several issues related to society.

What Is The Story Of “Forty Rules Of Love”?

      To understand the mentioned lessons of “Forty Rules Of Love,” it mandatory to know the story of this novel.

      Elif Shafak addressed Feminism in forty rules of love. In her novel, Shafik uses esoteric Islamic mysticism and depicts a woman’s face (Ella) who is brave. She fearlessly breaks all taboos that ruin her inner contentment and happiness.

40 Rules Of Love” Summary:

      This book is about two counterpart stories of relationships, reflecting each other across two distinct cultures, traditions, and era. One is between Ella and Aziz (occurs in the present). The other is about Shams and Rumi ( occurs in antecedent).

The Forty Rules of Love: A Novel of Rumi

Who Is Ella In Forty Rules Of Love?

     Forty years old Ella Rubenstein is the character that the whole story revolves around. She is an unhappy married Jewish housewife with three children. She is a dissatisfied woman who exists without any dream or passion.


   The book begins with Ella’s story. The novel also concerns with a deep relationship between Sufi dervish, Shams of Tabriz, and the mystical scholar- poet Rumi.

    Ella comes to know Shams and Rumi’s story when she gets a project from her new job of reviewing the book “Sweet Blasphemy.” The lessons of the forty rules of love described by Shams Tabriz, eventually inspire Ella. She began to explore her existence and set out on the path of truth, love, and wholeness.

    After being inspired by “Sweet Blasphemy,” Ella searches for the author(Aziz) and finally mailed him. Ella and Aziz soon become good friends, and later they became attracted to each other.

   Finally, she decides to leave her unhappy life behind and live with Aziz. She moved to Holland with Aziz, where he breaks the news that he has terminal cancer and he only has 16 months to live.

   In those 16 months, they both explore the world, and after Aziz’s death, Ella decided to live like Aziz( in quest of where life will take her).

 Lessons Of “Forty Rules Of Love.

      “Forty Rules Of Lovesubsists numerous valuable lessons that can help you build the opportune moments and setting ideal goals in your life. As a mediator, this book guides you in dealing with the obstacles posed by a materialistic society.

       Some of the most important lessons of the forty rules of love are listed below.

The Forty Rules of Love: A Novel of Rumi

1: Defend Your Wholeness:

This book points out the limitations that an individual can set while struggling in challenging junctures. It tells us that we need to be free from the fear of conventions and others’ opinions.

Just follow your inner voice and do what satisfies you, not others, because convincing others is impossible.

  “You care too much about what other people think. But you know what? Because you are so desperate to win the approval of others, you will never get rid of their criticism, no matter how hard you try”.

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

2: Love Can Transform You:

15 Important Lessons Of Forty Rules Of Love Book.

This is one of my favorite lessons of forty rules of love that love can transform a person into a beautiful soul. Most of us don’t know the real power of love. We have seen love as a narrow stance.

    Everyone tastes the taste of love in many different ways. True love gives us the power to make a change in ourselves that we never possibly thought of.

    True love ultimately upgrades your acceptance level, and you begin to transform. This transformation gives you a more positive outlook on life.

   “Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation.”

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

3: Don’t Die Before Your Death:

This book has given us a vital lesson, “Never let Yourself die before your death.” This phrase has a profound message. We all have complete control over how we live, but we ignore this authority to please others and spend our lives walking on eggshells.

    God has given everyone a gift, and if you don’t discover that gift and follow the myths of society, you will die before your death. Struggle for your burning desire no matter how hard it’s to get it because that makes you feel alive.

     “Don’t go with the flow. Be the flow”.

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

4: Never Be Impatient:

The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.”

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

    This quote of Forty rules of love tells us never to be impatient for anything. It makes you shortsighted and disbeliever, while patience gives you the ability to accept or tolerate delays without being frustrated or upset. It’s only patience that makes it easier to manage your emotions smartly.

   Patience is a sign that you believe in God’s plans and believe that one day you will see the dawn.

5: Idolatry Blurs Your Vision:

 One of the boldest lessons of the forty rules of love is to oppose idolatry ( idols you make by yourself, like any belief, any person, or anything from which you bound yourself).

    Never let somebody come between you and God, not any spiritual master, not any of your beliefs. Sometimes our ideas are entirely wrong, and if we follow them, we lost our path.

    Try to know and accept all the truths and facts given and guided by God, even if they are beyond your beliefs. Because God is omnipresent, who teaches you the best way.

    “Let God and only God be your guide.”

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

6: Don’t Be Judgmental.

Being judgmental about every situation and person can ruin your whole personality. People think it’s necessary to give an opinion on every issue but, trust me, no one needs your thought or criticism.

       Everyone has their views and path to go, a different level of connection with God, and their ways of praying and believing. God also answers every one according to their beliefs.

   There is no point in interfering with another’s the relationship with God. It only spoils your good deeds, nothing more.

             “Don’t judge the way other people connect to God.”

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

7: Learn To Love Yourself.

    “If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved”.

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

    This is one of the worthy lessons of the forty rules of love. You have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. How is it possible for everyone to respect and love you when you don’t respect and love yourself?

   If you accept the thoughts that make you feel unworthy, you have no right to blame others for disrespecting you. Be loyal to yourself and buy all your flaws and traits. It can be more challenging but necessary to value yourself.

8: Always Welcome Changes:

Accepting or resisting changes is still seen as the most challenging part. But, chances are right for you. Without them, you can’t know which side is better for you.

Never be afraid or upset about any change in your life. Let yourself know that old and comfortable moments do not contribute to your development. So welcome even the smallest changes as they can add variety to your life.

     “ Try not to resist the changes that come your way.”

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

9: Solitude Takes You To Another Level:

This lesson of forty rules of love inspired me a lot. It’s good to be social, but surround yourself with people could be a bad thing. We are probably scared of solitude, while it’s our faithful companion.

Solitude reduced your feelings of loneliness, and you can grow more prosperously. After God, the person who guides you best is yourself, and isolation takes you to a level where you can easily hear yourself.

   “ loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it’s easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely”.

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

10: Pain Upscales You:

Pain is considered the most invasive experience. We all want to be loved without paying any cost for it, while “Pain is a compulsory condition of perfect love.”

Pain gift you two significant quality. It makes you stronger and softer. It expands your inner part. You become able to feel others’ pain, which makes you superior among all other beings. It’s a pain that makes your love pure and deep.

   “Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong. Iove can only be perfected in pain”.

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

11: Both Hell And Heaven Exist In This World:

“Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both presents inside the very moment.”

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

   This lesson clears all misconceptions related to Hell and Heaven. We believe that heaven and Hell are a separate world from the earth and reach there after death.

While our deeds make our present moment as beautiful as heaven or as horrible as Hell, it’s entirely based on our actions. Heaven and Hell are states of the heart and mind, which we consciously or unconsciously choose to work in our daily lives.

12: Gentleness And Strength Are Parallel:

People generally think that being soft is a weakness. Being gentle is a superpower that not everyone can get. We associate being strong with being carefree, cold, proudly, and harsh.

We never think that strength and softness can be parallel when, in fact, it is. Most of us get it, but the afterlife at 40, which is a little bit late.

   ” If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be as soft as a feather”.

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

Faith softens us. When we ease ourselves, our faith is spontaneously strengthened.

13: People Don’t Believe In Unusual:

People’s concepts are based on different beliefs, which don’t accept the unusual. Now society has created an effortless and useless way to go. If anyone goes against this way, they consider it crazy or stupid.

People have become accustomed to hearing and seeing the same thing over and over again. And if someone tries to show something new or different, they take it as a dream or imagination.

We have locked ourselves in a beautiful box of restrictions, and probably most of us don’t want to get out of this box.

     “Finally, I understood that whenever people heard something unusual, they called it a dream.”

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

Dare to go out of this box because there is a vast world waiting to show you its wonders.

14: Criticism Means You’re On The Right Path:

   “ Be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It’s a sign that you will soon be showered in roses”.

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

We left many of our beloved desires only because of others’ criticism and makes our lives a graveyard. But this lesson of the forty rules of love guides us to thank these people instead of being afraid.

Because the signal to you that you are doing right and soon, the world will appreciate and follow you.

15: Our Words And Deeds Always Count:

Don’t take your words or actions lightly. All our deeds, however big or small, good or bad, whether anyone sees it or not, are counts and will be returned to us at another time.

It doesn’t matter how pious you are, how much you pleased God. God will reward you according to what you say and do.

     The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish but are perpetually stored in infinite space, and they will come back to us in due time”.

Fourty rules of love, Elif Shafak

Beyond these lessons, there are many more in this book. Shafak’s theme of forty rules of love is mainly Sufism because Sufism takes us to ourselves’ depth.

Author: Bint e Sarfaraz

You can reach the author by mailing her at Bint3sarfarz@gmail.com

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